Rude in Rome (and Italy): avoid these faux pas!

 

Italy is attracting an increasing number of travelers – it should be no surprise, since it is a country rich in culture, beautiful places, and culinary delights. On top on returning visitors, many tourists are leaving their homeland for the very first time, and as they arrive, they may not be aware of what is considered impolite or rude when visiting. As tons of new people make it to Rome every day, obviously attracted by its world-famous sights, we thought we’d help with some tips about what is considered unacceptable when out and about. This is to help blending in with the locals and to ensure a smooth and respectful experience. Here are some tips for first-time visitors:

Mind your noise levels

This also applies to music blaring in your accommodation (did you know that we have quiet hours in Italy?), but we are thinking, specifically, of being “noisy talkers”. Italians are particularly sensitive to the level of noise during a conversation, so much so that one of the things they value most when choosing a bar or restaurant is the possibility of having a conversation while having a drink or dinner!

In this context, being loud is tantamount to being inconsiderate or backward, to the point where Romans even have a saying that literally judges the level of manners of someone who is being particularly loud: “Ma che, stamo ar mercato?” Roughly translated, “Are we at a street market or something?“, meaning that only people at a street market would be allowed to speak as loud. Snobby? Maybe – just like many old proverbs. However, the fact remains: if you want to blend in and you value not being zeroed in as a tourist, keep your “enthusiasm”… mostly to yourself (readers, imagine a smiley face here!).

Be polite with staff

Restaurants, cafes, hotels, even clothing stores are not just commercial establishments here. They are seen as an extension of someone else’s home, where the owners take pride in offering a warm and welcoming environment. For this reason, even when entering a fast fashion shop from a major international chain, a simple “Buongiorno” or “Buonasera” is appropriate.

This is also why so many international tourists are surprised at the relationships established between regular customers and store owners, or restaurateurs: this is proof that a hello goes a long way! Incidentally, it is the same reason why sitting down at a restaurant or a bar without having asked first is a big no-no.

“La bella figura” is real!

You may have heard of “La bella figura“, which is very much a philosophical concept here – it embodies the effort of being impeccable, for example by not attracting attention to yourself for the wrong reasons (the levels of noise we just discussed are a great example of that).

Your attitude when going out in Rome, or any other Italian city for that matter, can make or break the consideration locals have of you. Even on public transport. Taking out your shoes, or putting your feet on the seat opposite yours, is considered a terrible faux pas. Italian cities are not the cleanest, let’s face it, and some people will be transferring dirt and who-knows-what-else on a seat that will be used in the, er, proper way, by somebody else.

Inappropriate jokes

Adding to this list on “what NOT to do in Rome”, don’t make jokes about the mafia or ask about it. While you won’t see any dons in action, as the “business” has changed and criminals are mainly money launderers (i.e., completely invisible to the untrained eye), the mafia as seen in movies is not a subject for fun stereotypes.

There are various incarnations of organized crime families/networks active in different regions of Italy, including the city of Rome or Ostia, so this is not isolated to Sicily either. Making references to The Godfather or The Sopranos could really shock or offend the locals you meet: simply put, you don’t know if they have family or friends who have been victims of the mafia.

Similarly, you don’t want to make jokes about Mussolini in Rome, or the current government (an exception in 2024 would be President Mattarella, whose brother was killed by the mafia and who is a very popular figure), or Berlusconi and his “elegant dinners” (we recommend reading Wikipedia about him if you’re not sure what we’re talking about).

Assume makes an…

We’re not going to complete that old adage: we’re sure you know how it goes! This is more of a general advice not to take everything that happens to you in Rome (or that may have happened to you on previous trips) as universal. Things change quickly, even if it does not seem so).

Some examples? Yes, Romans hate queues, but in some situations (getting on the subway; going to the post office…) they will be forced to respect them. Also yes: many Italians and Romans speak decent English, but assuming that everyone does is just as lazy as thinking of Spanish or French as extended versions of Italian – learning a few basic phrases will be a game changer when interacting with local people! Bottom line: look around and use another adage as a Bible when here: when in Rome, do as the Romans do! But be careful – it works until it doesn’t (and please, readers, imagine another smiley face here as well!)